Ending it

I took the coward's way out to end our relationship. Many will scold me for it but I don't know how to tell it to her. It is tough on me as I have feelings for her. However, in the end, he is still the right and better choice for me. Given that if we met at a different time or a different place, we could have been so happy together. But this is now and this is here thus I made the safer choice. Safer in that he loves me more than I do to him. Safer as I won't be as hurt if things were to happen to us. Safer because we know each other very well.

Ha! Now that I have made my choice.. I should then change the title and the name of my blog. Dangerous! Ha! What's so dangerous... when I am a coward to take the safer route, when I go away without a word, when I give up something without a fight.

I told her that I am posted overseas for a certain project and I will be away for some months. That's all. She asked me when is the departure date but I did not reply. She sent me more msgs asking where am I going but I did not tell her. She called me but I refuse to pick up her calls. I am heartbroken... seriously. A certain ache in my chest.. not a piercing pain but a numbing sensation. Like maybe you can't feel anymore. Like maybe you can't love anymore. Like maybe you lost something inside of you. Like losing the ability to love...