Missing You
I know I should not be missing you but I am. I know there should be only one person in my heart but there you are.. in one untouchable corner of it. I try and try to erase it but I can't. I forgo all communication with you. I deleted your hp no. from my hp but my fingers still remember which number to dial cos I have dialed it so many times. When I did not message you for that period of time, I thot you have forgotten me.. but your one sudden message told me that you have not. I wanted to reply you but I was scared. I wanted to remain as frens with you but I know it is impossible. There has been too much things between us to remain as frens only.
I miss you. I miss the friendship, the companionship, the talks into the early mornings, the rides down the expressway in the late nights. I know you have been hurt and I do not want to be the one to hurt u again but I did. I feel I did but maybe I am insignificant to you. I don't know. U say I am important to you but it can be a lie.. to make me feel good cos we are frens afterall. I want to put my heart wholly into this r/s with him but how can I do that when you are occupying one part of it? Everytime I hear your fave singer, I tink of you. Everytime I travel down a certain highway, I tink of you. Everynite when I listen to Class95, I remember those times in the car when we will talk and listen to Class95 together. Everytime I see a car model on the roads like yours, I tink of you. I dreamt of you too. We were so happy in the dreams.
I miss you so much. Do you miss me too?
I miss you. I miss the friendship, the companionship, the talks into the early mornings, the rides down the expressway in the late nights. I know you have been hurt and I do not want to be the one to hurt u again but I did. I feel I did but maybe I am insignificant to you. I don't know. U say I am important to you but it can be a lie.. to make me feel good cos we are frens afterall. I want to put my heart wholly into this r/s with him but how can I do that when you are occupying one part of it? Everytime I hear your fave singer, I tink of you. Everytime I travel down a certain highway, I tink of you. Everynite when I listen to Class95, I remember those times in the car when we will talk and listen to Class95 together. Everytime I see a car model on the roads like yours, I tink of you. I dreamt of you too. We were so happy in the dreams.
I miss you so much. Do you miss me too?
11 Comments:
Er.. i think you're in love. So agonizing.
you are in agony... make up your mind and move on. with that you are also makeing the otehr 2 parties in your life much better... they need an answer just like you do.
youve made a choice. move on.
if you think youre better of with someone else, then break up with him. dont be so wishywashy already.
youve hurt them both enough. dont be selfish.
sure you cant help the way you feel but the least you could do was to be responsible. ure so hung up over her cos u cant help it or cos your heart doenst want to forget in the first place?
i think the comments in this blog have told you the same thing over and over again.
listen babe.
Anon: she's in love meh. I think she's just pining for something she can't have. infatuation?
anon2
If you feel you are unable to commit to a relationship with her, perhaps try staying friends. Impossible as it may sound given the potential blurring of lines, it does make it much easier to cope. I went through the same thing with my ex and we have been able to remain as friends. More than friends, actually, but not as lovers.
Contrary to popular belief, being lovers is not a paragon of relations between two individuals - my ex and I are currently with our respective boyfriends, both of whom do not know of our history together but accepts that we treat each other as soulmates, and that we will prioritise each other over them (our boyfriends).
In its simplest sense, we are treat each other as sisters and blood will always be thicker than water.
anon: Mayb.. I'm nt sure if it is love or wat.
love truth: Actually I have made up my mind but my heart still holds on to it.
sigh: sometimes it is easier said than done. I know my heart shld move on but sometimes it just rems things that you know you shld forget. If there is something I can take or apply to take away those feelings or memories, I would do it.
anon2: Ha! I also dunno wat's the diff. Love and infatuation..
minky: Being in close contact, easier to lapse back to the previous behaviour.. no?
Yes it does increase the chances but given the choice of self-torture through (involuntary) restraint and with-holding a temptation, the temptation would be easier to fight, but that's just how I see it. Besides, you are giving up a potentially long-term friendship, unless you were really in it only for lust, in which case let it lapse and move on.
At times, I honestly wonder if you are really seeking advice or if you just want to be confused and emotionally driven?
If you wan tagony for all parties involved, then continue to entertain thoughts that will lead you down the paths of self destruction.
Cos ultimately, no matter how wise the advice that are offered to you, if you choose to be confused and solely emotionally led, no one can help you.
minky: I tink I will nt cont being frens with her. Too tough for me
Kurakat: This blog is for me to express my feelings. Be it confusing or contridicting. Do you never have confusing thots before. Things you tink about.. and u cant do anything abt it. Thought in ur brain that u cant get rid of? Truly, wise advice are appreciated. But like wat u said ultimately it is my choice on whether my wisdom is the same as urs.
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Take some time off, away to a place where you can sort out your thoughts and stick to the decision made.
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