Stubborn
When a person is bent on destruction.. and when a person is very stubborn.. I tink wreckage can be expected.
This happens when one lose self-worth in oneself and that the person feels that one is unredeemable. To simply just die or disappear is not as torturous as doing the things that you know is wrong but you do it over and over again to prove something to someone. This is also to punish oneself for the wrong deed. It is a vicious cycle.. You do something wrong and to punish yourself.. you do it again..
I lost both of them. He is still with me physically but my feelings for him is so different now. I am not loving him as much as before. Is it because I know he needs me more than I need him so I love him less? Or is it because I know that I will always be second place in his heart and that work always come first? Or is it because I know that one part of my heart resides someone else?
She is no longer with me physically but my feelings for her is still there. She is now back with her ex. I have come to realise that I am also just a replacement for her ex. That from the very beginning, she does not love as much as her ex. I am just temporary in her life as they are in the midst of their lovers feud. Another second place position.
Am I so unlovable that I cannot be in the first place position with anyone? That so very fast, people will get tired of me.. that they will find something else or someone to replace me? That I am so uninteresting that people get bored easily? This is not improving my self-esteem at all.. I seem to have none now..
This happens when one lose self-worth in oneself and that the person feels that one is unredeemable. To simply just die or disappear is not as torturous as doing the things that you know is wrong but you do it over and over again to prove something to someone. This is also to punish oneself for the wrong deed. It is a vicious cycle.. You do something wrong and to punish yourself.. you do it again..
I lost both of them. He is still with me physically but my feelings for him is so different now. I am not loving him as much as before. Is it because I know he needs me more than I need him so I love him less? Or is it because I know that I will always be second place in his heart and that work always come first? Or is it because I know that one part of my heart resides someone else?
She is no longer with me physically but my feelings for her is still there. She is now back with her ex. I have come to realise that I am also just a replacement for her ex. That from the very beginning, she does not love as much as her ex. I am just temporary in her life as they are in the midst of their lovers feud. Another second place position.
Am I so unlovable that I cannot be in the first place position with anyone? That so very fast, people will get tired of me.. that they will find something else or someone to replace me? That I am so uninteresting that people get bored easily? This is not improving my self-esteem at all.. I seem to have none now..
3 Comments:
for people to place you in the first position, you have to want to put yourself in the first position.
Because when you put yourself in the first position, you will not compromise with either of the 2 situations i.e. 1. your bf placing work first 2. your lover placing her ex first.
You can get yourself out of this situation. As long as you choose to step out and get what you truly want.
To get out of this situation takes more effort than staying passive here, so be prepared.
- girl who used to be in the same situation as you -
well i would say the feeling of being second is for sure lousy.. esp when you put the person you love in the first of everything...
be strong, knowwhat you really want.. and works towards it and don look back.
My life sucks la.. big time.. and I am tired of it.
Post a Comment
<< Home