Tired
I'm tired.. extremely tired. Mentally, physically and emotionally. The reason I am at home at this time on a Sat night is that I am feeling exhausted. I don't know why but I am feeling deep bone weary. I am also feeling melancholic.
I look back at the past and I yearn for things that we shared together. You and me. The first time we met, the first time we kissed and the first night we spent in each other arms. Why is it that our relationship have come to this? That we cannot talk without one or the other feeling frustrated. We used to have such happy times together. We used to play and have so much fun with each other. Now we are holding on to something that is crumbling into pieces. Both you and me are trying our best to keep it together but it is seems like our effort is making it worse. We are holding on too tightly to this relationship. We know something is not right and yet the things we do is not correcting it. Both of us are afraid of what will happen in the future. Both of us are afraid of the words we used on one another. Both of us are afraid to let go. I have my own reasons not to let go and so do you. But I think it is the not same reasons.
Some people say "I love you forever" so easily. Do they really intend to carry it out?
I look back at the past and I yearn for things that we shared together. You and me. The first time we met, the first time we kissed and the first night we spent in each other arms. Why is it that our relationship have come to this? That we cannot talk without one or the other feeling frustrated. We used to have such happy times together. We used to play and have so much fun with each other. Now we are holding on to something that is crumbling into pieces. Both you and me are trying our best to keep it together but it is seems like our effort is making it worse. We are holding on too tightly to this relationship. We know something is not right and yet the things we do is not correcting it. Both of us are afraid of what will happen in the future. Both of us are afraid of the words we used on one another. Both of us are afraid to let go. I have my own reasons not to let go and so do you. But I think it is the not same reasons.
Some people say "I love you forever" so easily. Do they really intend to carry it out?
5 Comments:
Alice said in the movie Closer
"Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet there was one."
And she also said:
"I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."
hi cleoie,
It's so interesting to read your blog. u sound geniuine, i can understand your feelings. i'm not an expert on GBR so i cant comment much abt your bf. but your newly found lesbian fren.. i assure u that she can offer all the companionship u need
.. and u sure look tempted.
the kissing episode seems more like a 'testing the water' act from u. i recognize that thrill. if u can totally imagine yourself being in bed with her, then i guess why not. otherwise..
anon: I don't know if there was such a moment or if there was, I certainly mucked it up. Love, can we say goodbye so easily? karen: Once you step into a more intimate phase, there is more things to consider and is less difficult to extract yourself. Not as easy as it seems.
u mean more difficult. :) all the best ;)
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